Hey there...its me. The picture is of my sleeping buddy... Beaker. I just want everyone to know the following stuff. I apoligize that I don't stay in touch by telephone very much but it really wears me out to talk on the phone. Plus its really depressing to tell my story over and over. I just wanted to say that I really do love you all and you are all in my thoughts and prayers every single day. Chemotherapy REALLY SUCKS!!!! Mostly I wanted to get on here and let you all know who the true HERO in this whole thing is. MY WONDERFUL WIFE ANNIE. I thank God for her every single day. Without her I am nothing. She works all day long and then comes home and takes care of all of us. She is in horrible pain from her back but NEVER COMPLAINS. She is my Guardian Angel. I love her more than anything. If any of you ever become ill, I pray you will have someone like her in your life. Please include Annie in your thoughts and prayers because she needs all the help she can get. Please help Annie in any way you can. I am doing my best to hang around as long as possible and I promise I will NEVER give up. RA pain is nothing compared to cancer pain, plus it never goes away. It hurts 24 hours a day. On a scale of 1 to 10, I live at about a 7. Plus, knowing you are going to die soon is something very hard to deal with. I am not scared to die anymore but I will miss my family and friends so much. Every holiday is hard to enjoy knowing that it may be my last one. I will try and call when I can. PLEASE feel free to call me anytime you want. If I am well enough, or awake, I will answer the phone. Trust me, the ringing of the phone does not wake me up. If I can't answer, please leave me a voicemail and let me know what's going on so I can listen to it later. It makes me really happy just to hear your voices. Plus I can save the messages and listen to them more than once. I love and miss everyone very much. Love HC.